No post for Wakdjunkagaʼs Blog appeared in the dark hours before dawn this morning, Central Standard Time, although I had written one and scheduled its arrival for 1:01 AM CST, filled with links and pictures and pithy observations on the two subjects I had rantingly tied together. That post began with my experience of difficulty posting yesterday with appropriate notes about the business practices of the guilty company at fault. I also gave my own evaluation of a certain seven-minute bit of video dropped on the public yesterday. I was pretty pleased with myself for my cleverness, smoothness at dictation, and periodically pungent composition.
But don’t check your e-mail inboxes or your Facebook feeds or even the published posts on this site for that document, because about 9:00 PM I restarted our modem/router (again) and turned on the computer I had shut down more than two hours earlier, just so I could access WordPress and change the status of that post from “Scheduled” to (probably eternal) “Draft.”
Why should I do that? It was a lovely post, filled with outrage, bitterness, wit and what passes with me for wisdom. When I’d finished all the touches and photo additions, I was pleased with myself and the post. But now it’s gone. What had happened that I should demote my writing and my work to invisibility and the eternal indifference of non-publication?
Yesterday evening, I watched the memorial proceedings from Tucson, Gov. Jan Brewer and all, and found myself immensely moved and intensely inspired by our Presidentʼs speech (text here) My post, however heartfelt and gemlike in its brilliance, was not particularly civil. And I would prefer to be at least one American striving sincerely to forge a nation and a future worthy of the expectations, example and moral exhortation of those killed, wounded, bravely arising to the challenges of that awful incident at an Arizona supermarket on an otherwise ordinary Saturday morning, and forever changed by violence.
“I want to live up to her expectations. I want our democracy to be as good as Christina imagined it. I want America to be as good as she imagined it. All of us — we should do everything we can to make sure this country lives up to our children’s expectations.”
I would like to be one, I hope among many, to fulfill the expectations and imaginings one nine-year-old girl can now no longer achieve herself. Pulling my planned post was step one…
* Pundit, although arising from a Hindi word for “wise one,” I think in contemporary American parlance should be more seriously and really defined as “a pompously delusional, self-promoting, spinaholic, invidious jackass of no specified sex,” regardless of political persuasions. I think, in future, when I use the term, you should always read pundit with the meaning I have just clarified (and try it when others use the term less carefully — it works amusingly well in punditry’s parlance, too).
** Who knows. This might last longer than my middle school AoG 48-hour salvation…