FML. My computer cannot keep up with my typing (and although I type relatively quickly, I do not type really, really fast, so anyone would believe that a modern — no, not contemporary, but still modern — computer could keep up with my only-human typing speed; that supposition would be wrong). So what is the problem?
Well, up front I should admit that I donʼt lways hit every key precisely (particularly on this damnable chiclet Bluetooth keyboard*). For example, that missing “a” in the previous sentenceʼs “always” is probably not the fault of the computer but of this user (of course, the spelling-correction feature is underlining the defective “lways” — both above and in this parenthetical insertion, but I intend to post this initial message for 2013 just as my computer — and I — create[s] it, more or less**; likewise, if I adntʼ mad Typinator change m regular mistyped “setnence” to sentence, that ould have remained wrong as well). I also, as suggested already, have a horrible tendency toward typos — dyslexic fingering that creates jumbled words with letters misordered, some of which I have programmed to get corrected*** (as noted above), some not. Both kinds, however, stir up Mountain Lionʼs intrusive correction suggester (putting up a blue suggestion of what I presumably was supposed to mean to type below the active word onscreen), which although helpful once in a blue moon, usually serves merely to slow down the computerʼs response to the continuation of my typing (which I guess could be resolved, at least somewhat, if I watched the screen and not my fingers/keyboard — as if that will happen at this very late stage in my typing life). Thus, third, I should acknowledge that I myself have created many intrusions into the ordinary typing process, some (if nch) my help to slow down th computerʼs acceptance and display of my maladroit dgitsʼ dance across the excruciatingly tiny keys.****
So some of my curet problems must be ascribed simply to me. (That boldfaced bit of idiocy is an automatic correction, believe it or not, for current!)
On the other hand, and that other mitt is the thrust of todayʼs post, none of this was a problem before I “upgraded,” witlessly, moronically, to Appleʼs system 10.8.2, the savagely unready-to-be-released Mountain Lion. (I know I have moaned about this Windoze-like***** set of programming incompetence already, but… ) I have begun to discover that the problem seems to reside with the vast number of processes that think whatever unimportant background activity (like updating Spotlight or too-frequently backing up to Time Machine or whatever mds and mdworker, among too many other gnomically-named bits of coded nuisance, keep attempting to do behind my back, without my permission) is more important than the actual task at which I am genuinely at work (meaning that my typing or program-opening or whatever comes a distant third to whatever other disk-grinding busy-nesses are happening about which I do not care). And I am not the only one.
Some of the worst offenders are processes from programs I have installed (namely Syncoveryʼs totalitarian backup agent and Intego VirusBarrierʼs horrible BehavioralInjector — whether underscore32 or _64, the former being the more dictatorial and domineering). However, using Activity Monitor, I can quit those processes (usually — sometimes it takes ten or fifty quits to get BehavioralInjector to stay absent/inactive). Appleʼs own intrusions are not so user-friendly. Furthermore, that aforementioned spinning beachball has really gotten irritatingly omnipresent!
And that, my friends, is why I keep not getting much done. (Amusingly — and I intend that word literally, etymologophiles — these processes donʼt interfere with getting online. Much — see beachball reference above.)
Maybe now, with as few issues in the most recent paragraphs as there were, I can get back to work on important fiction (really).
* Really, Apple? You couldntʼ make a real keyboard that connects wirelessly? Really…
** The less being that whatever I noticed was wrong when I finished, I boldfaced. (And I wonʼt comment on what I may know were my own issues and what the fornication-worthless software/hardware permitted to be wrong.)
*** Another standard correction, which the computer currently finds nearly impossible to handle adequately is the transformation of straight apostrophes to curly typographerʼs apostrophes (and since I cannot get PopChar to function today — more computer trauma, I guess — I canʼt show a straight one). What happens is: all too often the apostrophe gets inserted after the final s in a possessive (I am coming to think because of the ridiculously slow and intrusive correction-suggester); several examples have occurred in todayʼs post.
**** That would translate as: “some (if not each) may help to slow down the computerʼs…” (Hmmm… you can tell that these footnotish interjections were created down here as I wrote because with these, too, the number of errors decreases with time. Interesting?)
***** Shall we enumerate every Microsoft Windows nonimprovement since XP (and most before)?
Did anyone get the punning initial acronym? Apple… ? (Itʼs not my life that I was addressing.)
©2013 John Randolph Burrow, Magickal Monkey Enterprises, Ltd, S.A.